10 Reasons Why I Know That My Basset Hound Hugo Hates Me
We have a Basset Hound, his name is Hugo… I take him to work with me, everyone at work (with the probable exception of Shannon) hates him. Why, he smells and he is miserable and those are probably two of his better features.
Every day I try and be nice to him but it is difficult, why, and I have only recently twigged it, because he hates me. How do I know he hates me…? Here are 10 Reasons.
1. When he poo’s he stares right at me, with a strange face. When I look away he shifts his stance slightly so that he remains in my eye line
2. When he has finished poo’ing he tries to cover the poo with grass, by flicking his back paws. Sometimes he does this at me, covering me in mud and grass
3. When I go to pick up his poo with the nappy bag things, he runs away, causing his lead to tighten and obviously trying to pull me over, into his poo
4. When I try to eat cake/sausage rolls/pot noodle (my general food groups) he slobbers so much it runs down his face and onto the floor. Not a bad thing, but then he shakes his head with such violence that his slobber goes on my food. I still eat it, it is a principle thing. I am the master
5. He has eaten so many staff dinners that I have had to pay to replace that I have had to set up a separate “cost allocation” in our accounting software
6. He scatters mouth fulls of his own food (Bakers Choice) all over the house, which two of our babies then try to eat and I have to fish out of their mouths
7. He gets up for a wee at 4am, just to wake me up so I have to let him out
8. When we are sat together he farts on me, then looks at me like I have done it
9. When he gets me up in the night to let him out, he deliberately stands on my bare toes with his oafing great paws and then trots off
10. He once chewed through our phone cables at work, breaking our phones, we had to buy new equipment. I swear I saw him smile
My dog hates me…